As I came to terms with the chaos enveloping my beloved Palace so close the start of the new season, I had to spare a thought for Martin Kelly, whose signing for the club on Thursday was overshadowed by Tony Pulis' departure. Daydreaming further, my mind wandered on to thinking how our new defender may have documented a tumultuous few hours...
Get up. Super excited! Heading to Crystal Palace's training ground in Beckenham to officially sign for them. They did amazing last season and have great fans, I'm really looking forward to this. The time has come to leave Liverpool and Palace are really on the up.
Have a shower.
Get dressed in my nicest shirt -- that one I got for my birthday -- as I think Palace will want to do some press and I want to look proper sharp.
Brush my teeth. Look at myself in the mirror. "This is a big day Martin" I say to myself. "A new chapter. You can do this."
Brush my hair. Gotta look swish for the TV cameras.
Get in car and head down the M42 to South London. Made myself a cheeky little playlist with some songs to match my mood including 'Moving On Up' by M People and 'Brand New Day' by Sting. Feeling good and looking forward to working with Tony Pulis. Well impressed with that he did last season.
Get to South London. Blimey there's a lot of traffic down here. Drive into Palace's training ground. No one here. Weird
Wait for a few minutes before Chris, the club secretary, finally comes to reception to meet me. She gets me to fill in a few boring forms and asks me to wait while the gaffer Tony Pulis comes along to say hello. I'm so excited to meet him. I've admired him for a long time, he really gets the best out of his players. I stalled at Liverpool recently and I reckon he can get me going again. I must get one of those CPFC baseball caps too, those are really cool.
Still no sign of Pulis, probably busy trying to secure more transfers. Keith Millen, the assistant manager, pops in to say hi. I don't think he likes me. Thank God he isn't the manager. Haha!
Chairman Steve Parish comes to reception and takes me up to his office to sign my new contract. "Where's Tony?" I ask him. Steve mumbles something about a meeting but I didn't really catch it. I sign the contract excitedly and am taken down to do some press stuff. Still no sign of Tony. He must be super busy.
I do interviews for the Palace website and with the local media. They are friendly but they talk funny down here. Can't really understand a word they say. I think I catch sight of someone that looks like Tony out of the corner of my eye loading stuff into a car, but it must just be another member of staff that look-a-like Tony.
Nailed the interviews. Well pleased with myself. Head to a cafe for some lunch. Told Tony will be around later to say hi. Officially a Palace player! Woop!
Back from lunch. Still no sign of Tony but I meet the other Palace players. Nice guys and good to see a fellow Scouser in Scott Dann.
Told to head to my hotel for the night and report back in the morning for training. Tony will be there I'm told. Bit disappointed but not that bothered. Will get a good early night's sleep and try to impress him in the morning.
In my hotel getting ready for bed. Feeling really positive. I really think this could be great for my career. A team on the up with a great manager. Pulis is just what I need. He could really get me playing to the best of my ability and get me back in the England squad. Ah man, yes, this feels just right. Martin and Tony, taking over the world.